There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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