it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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