It's Friday. Sex?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
