Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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