No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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