Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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