Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
