what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
PANTIES FOUND
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