If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
