It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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