Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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