i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
