i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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