So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
