she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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