youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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