why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
