Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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