why do cheetos always look like penises
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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