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she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
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