You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
