i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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