His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
