feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I got her a Nickelback box set.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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