I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
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I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
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What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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