so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
wrigley field is MILF paradise
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
