you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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