Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
