i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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