Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
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