I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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