So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I supernannyed him into submission
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
