yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
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hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
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I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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