We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
