there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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