I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
