Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize