I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
