you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
