wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
