Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
