Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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