it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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