i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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