I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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