when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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