i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
