He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
