My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
