His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
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