You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
