We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize