Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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