we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize