You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
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So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
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My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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