I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
