you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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