You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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