I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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