operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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