Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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