i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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