cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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