Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
