Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i will never coherently bang her
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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