im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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